She had instinctively turned away;but stopping on his approach, received his compliments with an embarrassment impossible to be overcome. Had his first appearance, or his resemblance to the picture they had just been examining, been insufficient to assure the other two that they now saw Mr.Darcy,the gardener's expression of surprise,on beholding his master,must immediately have told it.They stood a little aloof while he was talking to their niece,who,astonished and confused,scarcely dared lift her eyes to his face, and knew not what answer she returned to his civil inquiries after her family.Amazed at the alteration of his manner since they last parted,every sentence that he uttered was increasing her embarrassment;and every idea of the impropriety of her being found there recurring to her mind,the few minutes in which they continued were some of the most uncomfortable in her life.Nor did he seem much more at ease;when he spoke, his accent had none of its usual sedateness;and he repeated his inquiries as to the time of her having left Longbourn,and of her staying in Derbyshire,so often,and in so hurried a way,as plainly spoke the distraction of his thoughts.
At length every idea seemed to fail him; and, after standing a few moments without saying a word, he suddenly recollected himself,and took leave.
The others then joined her, and expressed admiration of his figure;but Elizabeth heard not a word,and wholly engrossed by her own feelings,followed them in silence.She was overpowered by shame and vexation. Her coming there was the most unfortunate,the most ill-judged thing in the world!How strange it must appear to him! In what a disgraceful light might it not strike so vain a man!It might seem as if she had purposely thrown herself in his way again! Oh! why did he come? Or, why did he thus come a day before he was expected?Had they been only ten minutes sooner, they should have been beyond the reach of his discrimination;for it was plain that he was that moment arrived—that moment alighted from his horse or his carriage.She blushed again and again over the perverseness of the meeting.And his behaviour, so strikingly altered—what could it mean?That he should even speak to her was amazing!—but to speak with such civility,to inquire after her family!Never in her life had she seen his manners so little dignified,never had he spoken with such gentleness as on this unexpected meeting.What a contrast did it offer to his last address in Rosings Park,when he put his letter into her hand! She knew not what to think,or how to account for it.
They had now entered a beautiful walk by the side of the water, and every step was bringing forward a nobler fall of ground, or a finer reach of the woods to which they were approaching;but it was some time before Elizabeth was sensible of any of it;and, though she answered mechanically to the repeated appeals of her uncle and aunt, and seemed to direct her eyes to such objects as they pointed out,she distinguished no part of the scene.Her thoughts were all fixed on that one spot of Pemberley House, whichever it might be, where Mr. Darcy then was. She longed to know what at the moment was passing in his mind—in what manner he thought of her,and whether,in defiance of everything, she was still dear to him.Perhaps he had been civil only because he felt himself at ease;yet there had been that in his voice which was not like ease.Whether he had felt more of pain or of pleasure in seeing her,she could not tell,but he certainly had not seen her with composure.
At length, however, the remarks of her companions on her absence of mind aroused her, and she felt the necessity of appearing more like herself.